As Executive Director of the Oklahoma Parents Center, I experienced firsthand an incredible life lesson.  In July of 2008, I suffered a stroke.  As the one year anniversary nears I would like to share my humbling story that has forever changed my life.  I now have intimate knowledge of one being unable communicate. I was medi-flighted out of my hometown in Holdenville, to a hospital in an Oklahoma metropolitan area.  During this time, I was conscious and able to hear everything that was said to and about me, although I was unable to speak or respond.  Following are some insights gained through this experience which have forever changed my attitude regarding disabilities.

On this beautiful summer day, I had spent my time working in my garden and getting ready for a much needed vacation.  I was dressed in my old gardening clothes, barefoot (dirty feet of course), and did not have the opportunity to shower or dress before I had the stroke. In Holdenville, everyone knows me, in the metropolitan hospital, I was unknown.  I am certain that I appeared indigent and uneducated.  From what I heard the nurses saying about me, that is exactly how I was perceived.  I was judged by my appearance, and I overheard numerous negative comments, as well as several nurses’ personal relationship issues.  How frustrating to know that they were being rude and unprofessional and I was powerless!  The moral of the story is, “Never say anything in front of people or assume they do not understand; this certainly would include children with disabilities".

Although I could not speak, I was cognitively aware.  When I tried speaking, no one could understand me.   I was not given anything to eat or drink until I was seen by a Speech Language Pathologist for a swallowing test. Can you imagine my mouth is dry, almost parched and I am unable to ask for water and cannot write this down as my right hand is paralyzed?   Prior to the swallowing test, I was left to slump in my wheel chair as I waited for additional testing.  At this point I knew without a doubt why children with disabilities could be in need of a Positive Behavior Intervention Plan.  As I was starting to plot my revenge, I realized the one thing I did have was my vision.   I studied faces more as a retaliatory issue than anything.  I remember laying on the gurney thinking what I was going to do when I released…You can only imagine what was on my mind, as a mother of 2 sons with disabilities and now as a citizen with a disability.  I soon found the retaliation I had planned was not nearly as important as the life lesson I had learned. 

Fortunately, I did recover after a few days. However, my insight into the world of disabilities will be forever changed. Communication has to be the top reason for behavior issues. I admit “I had a few tantrums and felt there was validity in doing so”.  Few people know what it was like for those few days…the rest can only imagine.  The old saying is true. Don’t judge me until you walked a mile in my shoes. I hope to continue to share my story – more for compassion and empathy regarding children…My stroke lasted 48 hours, I cannot imagine not being able to communicate for a lifetime.

 Respectfully,
 
Sharon House